The Broomstick Method.
“And she still became pregnant. Now, what should I do?” The man was simple, yet earnest in his inquiry to the NGO staffer. The staffer had shown the simple man how to use a condom, succinctly and thoroughly. The demonstration even concluded with all of the participants showing what they had learned: How to correctly store, open, use and dispose of a condom. The staffer even gave a few specific pointers about conquering embarrassment around getting a condom from the local pharmacy. In fact, the simple man was so excited that he and his wife finally had a virtually foolproof method of avoiding pregnancy.
The simple man had told the group of peers gathered by the NGO to learn about men’s responsibility in birth control that he and his wife regularly have open and frank discussions about the matter. Regardless of the couple’s decision to wait several years after their marriage before having their first child, and several more still before possibly having a second child, the methods they had used in the past were unsuccessful. Moreover, the second child was born just two years after the first one, and his wife felt that she had not even fully recovered from nursing and looking after the first.
A health worker had taught the simple man, his mother and his wife the importance of breast feeding exclusively for the first six month and as long as possible even after introducing food. The couple understood that breast-feeding not only gave strength to the child to fight off disease, but it also served to help her space pregnancies. The simple man’s wife complained that she felt weak for months after the first and second births and though she was able to rest, eat well and quickly recuperate, she was not anxious to repeat the ordeal. When she became pregnant again, she resided to give her all given the situation, but worried about her health and that of the coming child. The health worker had also made clear to the couple the possible dangers of closely spaced births.
Only the husband’s mother cheered at the news of both the second and third pregnancies. The mother-in-law chided that the family desperately needed a son, and that having two girls was simply a waste. After all, the mother-in-law had given birth to four girls, all closely spaced, before she finally took things into her own hands and had a son. The simple man’s mother resented his wife and constantly insulted her for not having a son soon enough and that his wife even had the audacity to space her births- making it less likely, the mother-in-law incessantly criticized, of gifting a son to her in-laws. She blamed the wife for corrupting her son with foreign ideas of birth spacing and doting on having a girl-children. The simple man’s wife really suffered from the constant tongue-lashings; she convinced herself that the only way to save her sanity was to immediately have a son.
The couple had tried this new method, condoms. The simple man diligently fetched a new broom from the market. He had meticulously chosen a fancy, ‘foreign’ style broom with a smooth handle, just like the one the health worker had used in what turned out to be the first time that many of the participants had ever seen a condom. The simple man had paid close attention to the demonstration and took mental notes of each step. “Squeeze the air out of the tip,” he reminded himself over and over, and “Don’t use hair or cooking oils as this could break the condom.” He explained to his wife each step of using a condom, almost as if he were training her as a trainer. He was even patient enough to entertain the myriad of questions his wife posed about the condom, like “Why is it so slick,” and “What kind of magic is this western know-how?”
The simple man and his wife carefully sat the broom next to the bed after having carefully placed the condom on top and rolled it down. “This will protect us, and we can easily enjoy,” they said. It was only a short time before the simple man’s mother noticed differences in his wife. She suspected that another grandchild would be coming soon, and started praying for a boy. It was she who broke the news to the simple man that his wife may finally be able to prove herself to the family by giving them a son. Overhearing this, the wife was in tears. The couple had invested a great deal of trust in condoms, and the “broomstick method,” as she and her husband had grown to call it over the months, had failed.
The simple man had told the group of peers gathered by the NGO to learn about men’s responsibility in birth control that he and his wife regularly have open and frank discussions about the matter. Regardless of the couple’s decision to wait several years after their marriage before having their first child, and several more still before possibly having a second child, the methods they had used in the past were unsuccessful. Moreover, the second child was born just two years after the first one, and his wife felt that she had not even fully recovered from nursing and looking after the first.
A health worker had taught the simple man, his mother and his wife the importance of breast feeding exclusively for the first six month and as long as possible even after introducing food. The couple understood that breast-feeding not only gave strength to the child to fight off disease, but it also served to help her space pregnancies. The simple man’s wife complained that she felt weak for months after the first and second births and though she was able to rest, eat well and quickly recuperate, she was not anxious to repeat the ordeal. When she became pregnant again, she resided to give her all given the situation, but worried about her health and that of the coming child. The health worker had also made clear to the couple the possible dangers of closely spaced births.
Only the husband’s mother cheered at the news of both the second and third pregnancies. The mother-in-law chided that the family desperately needed a son, and that having two girls was simply a waste. After all, the mother-in-law had given birth to four girls, all closely spaced, before she finally took things into her own hands and had a son. The simple man’s mother resented his wife and constantly insulted her for not having a son soon enough and that his wife even had the audacity to space her births- making it less likely, the mother-in-law incessantly criticized, of gifting a son to her in-laws. She blamed the wife for corrupting her son with foreign ideas of birth spacing and doting on having a girl-children. The simple man’s wife really suffered from the constant tongue-lashings; she convinced herself that the only way to save her sanity was to immediately have a son.
The couple had tried this new method, condoms. The simple man diligently fetched a new broom from the market. He had meticulously chosen a fancy, ‘foreign’ style broom with a smooth handle, just like the one the health worker had used in what turned out to be the first time that many of the participants had ever seen a condom. The simple man had paid close attention to the demonstration and took mental notes of each step. “Squeeze the air out of the tip,” he reminded himself over and over, and “Don’t use hair or cooking oils as this could break the condom.” He explained to his wife each step of using a condom, almost as if he were training her as a trainer. He was even patient enough to entertain the myriad of questions his wife posed about the condom, like “Why is it so slick,” and “What kind of magic is this western know-how?”
The simple man and his wife carefully sat the broom next to the bed after having carefully placed the condom on top and rolled it down. “This will protect us, and we can easily enjoy,” they said. It was only a short time before the simple man’s mother noticed differences in his wife. She suspected that another grandchild would be coming soon, and started praying for a boy. It was she who broke the news to the simple man that his wife may finally be able to prove herself to the family by giving them a son. Overhearing this, the wife was in tears. The couple had invested a great deal of trust in condoms, and the “broomstick method,” as she and her husband had grown to call it over the months, had failed.
posted by Diepiriye at 10:56 AM
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